Monday, June 30, 2008

working manuscript about some subject that I am not yet aware of...

I should write.
I remember when I was a kid, I boldly proclaimed to anyone who asked what I wanted to be when I grew up - "I want to be an author!" I loved books so much. I could read for hours, every day. As I grew up, the allure of music and art beckoned to me. I didn't read nearly as voraciously as I did in grammar and middle school. I was always quite good at illustration, even from a young age. But I lack the passion to create art daily. When I begged for and received an electric bass guitar for Christmas right before my 15th birthday, I tried very hard to learn it, but found it uncomfortable and hard to understand, so I didn't stick with it.
But writing is something I've always done. I have certainly had my periods where I didn't write anything at all, and for the last several years, all I have really written is journal and blog entries, and the occasional long-ass rant on a forum.
I feel confident that I could write some fine fiction, maybe even screenplays. Non-fiction, while I love to read it, holds little interest for me. I could write a non fiction book about something that really interests me or is close to my heart, (which is part of why writing journal entries is so easy for me) but other than that, creative writing is my forte.
I haven't had an idea for a story in years, though. After a while, I just stopped trying. The last short fiction stories I wrote were strange horror fests, mostly based on very powerful nightmares I had experienced. Honestly, I haven't had a nightmare that inspired me to write a story since then. I haven't had many nightmares at all. Hell, I haven't even had that many vivid dreams, in general. And the ones that are vivid are often so incohesive that they wouldn't make up a good story, anyway.
I don't think I need to rely on my dreams to come up with something good, though. The stories I wrote when I was young revolved around my daydreams and childhood fantasies. Here's the scary thing... I don't have many daydreams or fantasies anymore, either.

What's wrong with me?
It's like my mind got lost somewhere... I retained my intellect but lost my ability to really DREAM.
I think I need a vacation from the internet.

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